Moving ON

Why is it so hard to move on? Time have passed, yet I'm still trapped in the past... :(

I still think about him a lot.. even when I already blocked him from my MSN and rarely chat with him.

忘れがたい

I finally blocked him from my msn few days ago... It is yet to be known how long I can do this..

Because I thought I have moved on...
Apparently, I haven't... I still think about him a lot...

Every time I'm going to bed
Every time I'm online on the net
Every time I saw a Porsche or Peugeot passing by
Every time I listen to Girls Generation or Super Junior
Every time I see my room
Every time I hug my Stitch or Ken
Every time I spend time alone
Every time the clock shows 2.30am or 2.30pm

クリスマスプレゼント

My god brother has traditionally give me a Christmas and birthday present each year. This year is no different either. He tend to give a Christmas present early, as I'm often somewhere else in the world during that time of the year. I really love what he give me this year.. It's perfect.. The size is just so huggable and cuddleable..


This year's Christmas present... I ♥ Stitch... Keep me away from nightmares and night monsters...

Here are what I have been sleeping with...




Last year's Christmas present from my ex. He bought it for me when we were in Tokyo Disneysea. I kinda miss him now..




The bear family in my room.. (from left to right) Daniel, Keisuke, Toma, and Yuichi.. Daniel was born In Peninsula HK and the rest of them in Conrad Singapore :)

Oh.. one more thing.. I blocked him from my MSN as of today. I just need to deal with my own demon and I kinda hate him now.. Grrrr...

2012

Last night, I went to watch 2012. Apart from the usual fantastic special effects, I actually didn't really enjoy the movie. If anything, it was depressing... Watching people died and seeing the end of the world is not really my kind of movie. Oh well..


Interestingly, however... The movies point out several everyday political and economics issues:

* The US president who knew about the end of the world actually went on to a meeting with the G8 leaders to discuss how to tackle the issue. In our world, the economy and politics are often dominated by G8. They dictate how the world should be... Even at the end of the world, they seem to be only trying to save their own asses.

* The arc ships were built in China. Why do they built it there? That's because China has strong control over media and the state. Not to mention, it's much cheaper too. If they try to build such gigantic ships in US, the media would easily get access to them and they would easily leak it to the public.

* The seats in the arc ships are sold to the people who can afford them. They are actually sold at €1 billion per seat. Who would be able to afford them really? Yes we have plenty of billionaires in the world, but at €1 billion per seat, I don't think there would be many who will buy it... If it's €100 or €50 millions per seat.. it's probably much more reasonable..

Oh.. Watch out for Sasha (Johann Urb), the Russian pilot.. He's so hot.. Rawr.... LOL... This is my fav scene in the movie, the Bentley is kinda funny.. You can see Sasha at the beginning too..

人は生まれながら賢かったり愚かだったりするのか、それとも知性は生き方の結果なのか。

A few days ago, I took a simple intelligence test in facebook and it actually reflects who I am almost perfectly. Hehe.. Apparently I'm gifted with Intrapersonal Intelligence... Here is what they have to say...

You possess the gift of self. Intrapersonally intelligent people like yourself best understand the world from your own unique point of view, using introspection and self-reflection. Those who are strongest in this intelligence are typically introverts and prefer to work alone. You are most likely highly self-aware and capable of understanding your own emotions, goals and motivations. Often times you learn best when allowed to concentrate on the subject by yourself. There is often a high level of perfectionism associated with this intelligence. Careers which suit those with this intelligence include philosophers, psychologists, theologians, writers and scientists.

Almost correct 100%, except for the careers choices because I just don't think I'm smart or diligent enough to work my way up into master and practice psychology.

もうこの失恋の痛みに堪えることができない。

Last night, he went for a chat with me. Sometimes he does that and I don't mind, as most of the chats were related to general topics. I have somehow moved on... until last night that is....

Guess what he told me?
He suddenly said that "If i was with u... i would have all the confidence in the world" and he mentioned I would be a good boyfriend. What the hell does he mean by that? I was shaking and almost crying when he told me that... I was a wrecked and I still am... I miss him so much...


I swam so fast this morning, it hurts.. But not as much as the pain inside....

何かおかしな物が私の目にとまった。

In recent weeks, I have heard countless stories about people getting together into the relationship. This is in contrast to what I have heard few months ago, which many couples broke up around the same time (including mine). Is there such thing as break up and blooming love seasons?

However..... This time around... I found those couples who got together are rather odd or have huge challenges ahead of them...

• The guy that I like: His partner is a contradictory to pretty much what he believe in. It was so totally "Huh?? Are you sure?"
• My good friend: His partner is living 3000 miles away from him. Will long distance work? No idea...
• A friend in US: His partner is way too immature for him, but he stayed together anyway..
• A guy that I know in Melbourne: His fling is 3750 miles away and he's about to dump his current partner
• Someone who live so close to me: His partner and him always bicker and argue.. Both won't listen to each other
• A handsome man living in South Yarra: He broke up with his partner, but got back together recently, even though they know they are not meant for each other

Is this a season of odd balls couples?? Or odd loves? Or am I simply jealous?

To be honest, I could see when both couples are really sweet together, but none of these are.. Seriously... Probably irrationality prevail as people trying to spend the Christmas and New Year in "romantic" mood.

大声でしゃべりたい衝動にかられた。

Guess what have I done? Following my heartbreak, I did the unthinkable... The most impulsive decision I have ever done. Here was the chronology:

26 October 2009
11.30pm: Got the news about him

27 October 2009
12.00am: Stressed.. watched the stupid Jap show on tv with housemate
2.30am: Tried to sleep to no available
3.00am: Talking with my friend in indonesia via Blackberry Messenger, he was about to go to Bali in just hours
3.15am: Contemplating about going with him
3.30am: Booked my flight to Bali with Singapore Airlines
9.30am: Left for airport
11.20am: Depart Melbourne for Singapore and Bali!!!!!

Yes I was nuts, I have lost my mind over love.. Stupid infatuation and love... BUT it was the best money ever spent. I had so much fun in Bali I forgot a lot of things about him. My stomach hurts so bad because my friends made me laugh a lot. There were heaps of surprises during this trip too. There were gossips like "A sleeps with B" and "C sleeps with D" and so on. I had too much fun and drink until I was very drunk. I even vomited! I heart my friends, they are super fabulous. The villas in Bali was fantastic and I love the private pool. Even Jakarta, which I was dreading to go, turned out to be so much fun.

Best thing was we won a 50 bucks shopping voucher in Changi Airport and I got my long awaited Bvlgari Aqua Marine for only S$27! Best bargain ever, thanks to Shaun. Then, I got upgraded to Business Class on my trip home. Super amazing! I can't wait to be back there again. Here are some of the pics from my trip..

失恋する

I'm typing this with my hands cold and shaking. I feel broken hearted and disappointed towards him and myself mainly. He finally revealed that he is dating someone else and like that person very much. I blamed myself for being stupid and sacrifice a lot of things for him when he seems to take me for granted. There's nothing much I could say in this post except I do feel very very sad. I want to cry, but no tears are coming out. I want to share this feeling with my friends and god brother, but I know they would ridicule my actions. Only here, I could release my feelings and hopes. At times like tonight, I actually want to return to my ex so much. But I don't know if it even worth it....

Edit: After thinking about it.. I actually feel quite angry and upset. I feel used... Those times I spent was for nothing and he used me for his entertainment and source of information. I do believe those informations were used for woo-ing the other guy. Such a bastard.. There is a small part of me who wishes that he rots in hell. BUT a larger part of me wishes that he find happiness, even if I become the scape goat. I will still open my arms to him tho.. as a friend that is... I couldn't see myself being used again as a spare tyre.

Just for Tonight - One Night Only

I'm not normally into western music much, let alone a British Indie Rock... BUT somehow I love this one...
The lead singer, George Craig, is also the face of Burberry and has appeared few times in Burberry catwalks.

El español es muy difícil

I'm having oral Spanish exam tomorrow and I'm dying now... :(
I don't know how can I pass this exam tomorrow *sob sob*
and I still ended up blogging in here.. LOL...
I always thought language supposed to be the easiest elective out there to help lift up my average marks. How wrong I was! Spanish is damn difficult and the curriculum is very tough for an elective subject. It's very fast paced and barely any English is spoken in class. Even the freaking textbook doesn't have a single English word in it! Grrrr....

Few days ago, when I cleaned up my room, I found this cute paper clip holder among my pile of stationeries. So cute right.. I didn't remember how I got the holder. But those bones shaped paperclips actually came from my ex. He got it from some pharmaceutical company that sponsor his school. It matches my paper clip holders perfectly! Adorable!

夕べデートした。

I went for a date for the first time since I broke up with my ex last night. I was just doing it out of courtesy. I didn't feel up to it. I just thought it would be good to give it a try. We went for quick dinner and movies in Jam Factory. It was kinda awkward as it has been a while since I dated anyone. I ended up fidgeting and felt uncomfortable. It was my first time seeing him too. I felt very anxious. I actually had crazy thoughts before I went for the date. I was supposed to cut my nails as they were getting longer, but I didn't. My reasoning was.. in case that date turned out to be a monster, I could still scratch him. Haha... Funny hey.. I'm no sissy by any means, but I just don't know how to fight back. The date turned out to be a nice person, but I just couldn't see myself going further than friendship. We watched Astroboy for the movie and I love it.. It was awesome!! Definitely a must watch.


Today, I wanted to go to the Camberwell Sunday Market and check out the antiques on sale, but I guess it has to wait until I finish my exam. I can't believe it's mid October already. Time passes by very fast this year, it's almost the end of the year and Christmas coming soon. I'm not looking forward for Christmas this year, as I will have to spend it back in Indonesia with my scandalous and gossipy family.

プライバシーに立ち入らないように注意しなさい。

I just realised that my housemate has broken my privacy. I didn't realise it until my workmate saw me in the tram today and enquire regarding the unit where I live. I have since removed all tags associated with the new unit in my facebook and blogger. For someone who is very careful in guarding privacy, I have been really careless to let him do as he please. I'm upset at him and I'm more upset at myself for not doing the right thing. In many many years, I have always guarded my privacy with the utmost secrecy and I had barked at my ex a number of times for being ignorant. Some people doesn't know the value of privacy, but I do and I do think you will pay the ultimate price once it's lost...

What's my type?

I just talked with my housemate and he asked me what kind of guys are my type. Honestly, I have no idea.. I can easily describe what I want based on personality, but on physical levels, it's a bit harder. I'm not very fussed, as long as we can click. Physical wise, if he can look pretty decent and nice, I would be okay. He doesn't need to be gorgeously hot and handsome. I probably would feel intimidated if he does. Not to mention, too many guys (and girls..) who want a slice of him.

Here what I wrote on my fridae profile:

"Tall, sexy, masculine, and handsomely cute guy.. lol... Emotionally though, I love guys who can hold himself well in public arena, confident and believe in himself, optimistic person, have ambitions, ability to give guidance and opinions, caring, loyal, understanding, good sense in design and arts, has good fashion sense as well as someone who can stimulate my mind with intelligent conversation and questions. Additionally, he must be able to support me for who I am and not holding me back for being myself."

And here what I found important in a relationship: (many of these, I learnt from my previous failed relationship)

"Intellectual conversation, physical attractions, chemistry, compatibility, similar ambitions or visions, willingness to give and receive, openness to new experience, great sex, understanding, and patience (in no particular orders)."

So what's my type again? Hmmm...

お互いに言い争いをする家族は嫌いです。

People always said I never like the country where I was born. In fact, I did change my citizenship years back. When I reflected back on my hatred and dislike, I wonder why did I feel like that. If anything, it's more to do with my family and how we got treated back in Indonesia. As a family, we never really had harmonious relationship with one another. The pressure from the outside and the internal family to be something that I am not, strained myself to the edge. From then on, I am always in constant search to find a new identity. Somewhere I could feel a sense of belonging and freedom. Somewhere I could escape from all these issues. Hence, I pursued to study overseas and never look back. In that time as well, I never really feel like I belong to Australia, I felt foreign. It was hard to get along. It took me years of settling down before I finally realised how great is this place. Now, I call this place a home and it does feel like one.

On another story, my best friend often said I'm a bit of an emo. I understand the fashion part of the emo, but I don't think I'm one. Although sometimes I maybe a little emo-ish. What I never realised, however, is the emotional part. I just found out about it today. Quoted from wikipedia:

"In recent years emo has been associated with a stereotype that includes being emotional, sensitive, shy, introverted, or angst-ridden. It has also been associated with depression, self-injury, and suicide."

The first sentence described me perfectly! The second part.. well... definitely no.. If anything, my injury comes from my clumsiness.

And finally.. I just got my latest obsession delivered. It looks pretty in the picture, but it looks prettier in real life. Introducing, my most expensive shoes ever... by Lanvin.... (If girls have Manolo Blahnik, guys certainly have Lanvin).

ウィッシュリスト - Octobre 2009

* Lithium Homme Blue Leather Jacket
* Custom wallpaper for my room
* Issey Miyake Watch
* Bvlgari Acqua Marine
* Fog Lights
* Oral B Triumph
* Canon EF-S 18-200mm f3.5-5.6 IS Lens
* Black skinny jeans & pants

BUT all of these has to wait.. for another month or year... Just because I can't afford everything at once. Car registration and Insurance are due this month and they cost around $1600 in total... :(

EDIT: Got a new electric toothbrush, a much cheaper, less frills, and do the job as good probably. The custom wallpaper might never be materialised because I just realised that it would make my room smaller than it really is. So I saved my money that way already :D

新居へ引っ越した。

I have finally moved into a new place last week. It was one very tiring week, lots of tidying up and cleaning up to do. Things are looking much better now, although I still feel it's not 100%. My room, for example, still missing bedside lamp, desk lamp, and a picture frame. I really can't wait until my room is done. A lot of thoughts have gone into this room and things are progressing along nicely. Outside, things are also better compared to last week, but my housemates could do with more tidy up. Honestly, I hate looking at boxes in the living room. Can't do much with the kitchen though because we don't have enough space. Best thing about this place is probably the facilities (pool, gym BBQ area, tennis court) and the view. Here are some of the views from our balcony...






I'm glad I have decent housemates though. They make me laugh sometimes and I don't feel so lonely anymore. My ex still wanting me back and I'm feeling really lonely too. I can't just go back to him because of loneliness, can I? It will be just a repeat of what I felt when I started my relationship with him 4 years ago. I do pity him a lot.. I felt responsible for leaving him in such a situation. I really don't know what to do...

On the other hand, assignments are piling up and start to get into my nerve. This week alone, I have to complete 3 assignments, damn... And next week I still have exams and I think 2 assignments due or so... >_<"

ゴールドコースト

I went to Goldcoast for the weekend with my parents, sister, and her fiance. It was supposed to be a welcome relief from my day to day routine, but alas it ended up as a rigid stifling weekend. My parents always bicker with each other and I can't keep up with their expectations, so I avoid them whenever I can. My sister always with her fiance, and I felt very lonely. They were there with me, but I didn't feel emotional connections whatsoever. I got a few consolations though, the stun driver show in Movie World was amazing and one of the drivers was very hot (pic down below). LOL.. Then I got to drive the Audi A4 that we rented and my parents got me a new dslr camera, Canon 500D. I would leave you with a few pics from the trip. Am so glad that it was over, but things would not be so rosy from tomorrow when they finally arrive in Melbourne.

典型的なインドネシアの家族は何ですか。

While sitting in a restaurant and waited for my take away, I was observing people around me. As i got bored of my observation subjects, an Audi Q5 appeared and I saw my perfect observation subjects, an Indonesian family! This is very much typical of many well off or wealthy Indonesian families:

* The dad is so overweight that he looks like a retired sumo wrestler
* The mother has hair as high as Taipei 101 and carry a LV multicolore handbag
* The sons wear nice shirts from Politix or Saba with thongs instead of shoes
* and the daughters would carry a Gucci handbag and a cheap outfits bought in Mangga Dua or Far East Plaza
* Then.. an expensive SUV will complete the picture....



I'm so mean hey... But it does describe my family into certain extend... and what my description of a typical Indonesian families do extend to gay people. We tend to quickly judge gay guys as promiscuous and superficial. I would blame it largely on those guys who are out and about in the scene. There are still a lot of gay guys who are more discreet, down to earth, and less happenings. Those rare commodities, however, are hard to grab. I hope, one day, I could find my prince charming, who is not a stereotypical gay guys.

Il n'y a qu' un bonheur dans la vie, c'est d'aimer et d'être aimé.

I'm confused.. Feel like I'm becoming more anti social these days. Despite the improvement in my moods and feelings, I still feel a little lost. Once, I was leashed and confined. Suddenly, I got all these freedom from being unleashed and only think for me me me and me.... There's almost no one else to consider. It's kinda weird and good at the same time. I also don't know how my relations with this virtual date will continue. Rationally, it's a waste of time and hopeless, but it's kinda hard when the heart betrays my rationality and my mind to do the right thing. Just like what I have been doing with my ex.

Parents visit is looming and I still have to confirm my moving out date asap. I still have to change my address on my bills, uni, etc, then arrange for cleaning to be done, take my parents around when they are here, and so on. So many things to do, so little time to have...

恋の悩み

I have been feeling much better for the last 2-3 days. Work helps and staying positive helps a lot too. I know, there's still a pain inside, but I try my best to have the best positive attitude I can have and it works, not instantly though. I believe I am a nice person, I believe in love and I trust others. Those people who give me a miss, probably never know what I'm capable of. :)

Those mood, however, was shattered on Saturday evening. Guess what? I actually hit a pedestrian in Flinders Street. He was crossing the road as the lights were still green. It was his fault for crossing the road. I didn't hit him that fast though. I was just driving at 40kph and I was so freaking panic. I couldn't stop and by the time, I managed to stop, he was gone. It took me a while to get back to the scene because I couldn't take the car key from the ignitions. I was dumb enough to stop without making sure that the transmission was in P mode. The new auto cars apparently has safety features which require the transmission to be in P before the car key could be taken out. Meh...
What a crazy night.. @_@

友達甲斐

True friendship do exist after all. Just put a cry emoticon in MSN and few people will start to voice their concerns. From some of those, a few will go to certain length to talk and calm you down. Those are the people that you will need to treasure. Friendship and love is a privilege and not to be taken for granted.

My god brother believe that my emotions and trust to everyone is part of my innocence and naivety and I shouldn't lost it. It is a positive thing, but I should have been more careful on how do I use my feelings because I am more sensitive than others. Reality wise, he said that there's no way that I could have been a heartless and cold person. So I just have to forgo my dreams of being a cold blooded vampire who sucked the life of people around me, LOL...

On a lighter news of the day... Melbourne has been extremely windy today. The noise is so loud, it creeps me out a bit. When I was driving, I could felt the car being swayed by the wind. The loud wind noises made me thought that the car engine has some trouble. I'm also supposed to work tonight, but I have cancelled my shifts. I want to go to dinner with friends and have a little bit of fun.

PS: I still miss him.. And the shocking news is.. he's my friend's ex.. OMG... OMFG... OMFFFFFFFG.... *gasp* plus 2 of his ex (that I know of..) are Indonesians. Geez...

他人に親切にしてください

Be kind to others and you shall be rewarded! At least, that's what the proverb said. In life however, the reward varies, sometimes they reward you back with kindness, sometimes you only get plain rudeness and people taking advantage of you. I realized, all this time, I have been very kind and trusting to people around me. Many, however, took advantage of them. At work, in internet, in day to day friendship, everywhere... My god brother said, it is a part of my innocence and naivety, but at my age, am I still that innocent?

Why is it so hard to find a true friend? Everything seems to be coming back to me tonight and it hurts really bad. Tears just burst and I wish I could be hurt really bad that I will lost all my senses of being kind. I wish I could just be a cold and heartless person. Being good is harder... It hurts.. It really hurts...

無差別モード

What makes one becoming more promiscuous than the other? Why do infidelity is so rampant both in straight and gay communities? And why has it becoming a wrong thing to do? Animals do it in the wild, but why can't human? Is religious community trying to define what's right and wrong?



Those question keep popping in my head over and over. I want not just a fulfilling relationship, but also loyalty. I want a relationship, where it will be hard for me to look at others. I want a stimulating relationship, emotionally and physically. In my updated Fridae profile, I wrote this about a person whom I'm looking for:

Tall, sexy, masculine, and handsomely cute guy.. lol... Emotionally though, I love guys who can hold himself well in public arena, confident and believe in himself, optimistic person, have ambitions, ability to give guidance and opinions, caring, loyal, understanding, as well as someone who can stimulate my mind with intelligent conversation and questions. Additionally, he must be able to support me for who I am and not holding me back for being myself."

き精神的なショック

I'm still on an emotional roller coaster, but I could see the lights at the end of the tunnel. I hope I can see the way out soon. I miss having only me and myself. He still the perfect and the right one in my opinion though. How many people has his loyalty and his love of art deco interior design? If only, there's a bit of love in his heart. I miss him.. really... It's so hard not to sleep thinking about him. Even masturbating is such a chore, trying to distract myself by watching porn or thinking dirty about someone else and I can't do that. I have developed my sense of loyalty towards him. It's just amazing what he can do on myself.

I have work tomorrow, I'm still contemplating if I should cancel my work and go to a party. My voice is like someone having a nose blocked at the moment.. It's like I'm sick, so it's a perfect time to call and cancel my shift. On the other hand, it seems that they are short of staff for tomorrow.

事が心配でたまらない

Arggghhhh..... I'm feeling so hot and cold for the whole day. Last night when he said good bye, it was a little cold than usual. Maybe he was in shock after he knew about my blog entry yesterday. I thought, he would probably distant himself from me. This afternoon, however, I got an sms from him saying that his job interview will be delayed until next week. To be honest, he almost never sms me on his own accord. It's always just to reply my sms or simply.. nothing. I was rather elated, but I also felt like I'm in a roller coaster. I just wished we could have a go kart racing, at least we know who win and lose and that's it. Roller coaster is an endless loop of up and down...

ものの核心にふれることは容易ではありません。

I'm supposed to be studying tonight, have my Spanish exam tomorrow, but somehow I can't think of anything else other than him. My relationship just ended about a week ago, but my heart seems to have waver for another. I wish, this is just an infatuation that will not last.

I have known this guy for over a year now. I knew him through a very unconventional way. About a year ago, a guy on my MSN had a conference chat with almost everyone in his list. I only said hi and left, it was such an uncomfortable atmosphere having heaps of gay guys in one chat room. Funny enough, a guy apparently had an interest on me and he enquire things about me to this person who opened the conference chat. He was a very reluctant boy, I didn't even get his picture until much later from fridae. Until now, I never properly met him, other than him winking at me during exam period. And oh boy.. He is one gorgeous hot guy.. I still can't believe I manage to flirt with him and chat with him.

I had my fair share of dislike towards him, I even had a time where I actually like someone else. I don't know how but our message archive has balloon to MB worths of logs. He's the number one person in my MSN, in terms of chat logs size. Last night though, he somehow made me a very happy boy. I was like in cloud nine, I started to like him. My heart is still racing when I remember him. He's very very sweet and distant at the same time. He is challenging, yet accept me for who I am. He's one of a few person who treat my childish behavior as a cute aspect of mine.

"Everytime we chat, I feel ecstatic, everytime he tease me, I swear I could fly, and everytime he flirts, I feel like I could reach the sky."

On my way to bed last night, I saw my ex.. Sleeping soundly as if nothing has happened between us. I was ridden with guilt and pity. He was the love of my life, we shared years of history, but I slept dreaming of another boy next to me.

彼と絶交した

I have finally made my decision last night. I have finally ended my relationship of 4 years. It was such a hard thing to do, but my flame has been dying for a long time. We simply have nothing in common. Our love was so intense at the beginning, but there's nothing to sustain the love and the flame. It's been so hard for me to be in this relationship, it was suffocating. I feel like a bird protected by its owner at all cost, including put him in a cage. I almost gave in as I saw him crying last night. When I looked a pictures from our happy times, I feel like crying.. I will miss him. I just hope I make the right decision.

I'm so sorry...

ジェットスターのセール

Just got an email from Jetstar regarding their Friday Fare Frenzy. Just realized how weird that Bangkok is cheaper than Bali, even when Bangkok takes 4-5 hours longer to reach from Melbourne. Does it mean Bali has high demand, whereas Bangkok doesn't? Hmm...

政治は何だって私たちを分割したいのかしら。私たちは、誰がよい人で誰が悪い人か知っているのに。

Sometimes, I wonder if world without politics could exist. I was very naive, I trusted every single person I met at work. If only, they didn't misused my trust, twisted my words, and created paranoid that would make works more stressful than it already is. My colleague did what I feared, she twisted my criticism into fear and terror. I had suspected that her paranoid on me started when one of the supervisors always commented on how good my work is. I guess, for her, I'm a threat to her credibility and positions. She tried to do everything and becoming everyone.. The results? Well.. She just exhaust herself and the staff morale has been pretty down as she never practically trust anyone. I could even see her trying to discredit one of the staff just because he received staff of the week award.

For years, I tolerated her imperfections and paranoid, I defended her for whatever she is. I do believe that everyone works in their own way and some climbed up the corporate ladder to be the leaders. I do not believe in prejudice and gossiping at work. People should be judged only by their quality of work and efforts, not by their skin colors or cultural habit.

I wished I could go back to be just regular staff, instead of team leader. Much much less stressful, more time to socialize with other workers and less responsibility. As of now, work has become more tense than it supposed to be. She distant herself from me, which I don't care. I'm more worried about her mouth if anything else. It is more poisonous than Inland Taipan Snake...

Promotional Video for Nationwide Kiss-in August 15th 2009

Awww.... Very very sweet video...

ヤラベ−ン公園

Yesterday, I spent my day with my new good friend アレーンくん. We went to some places in the city to have lunch and checked out the best toilet in the whole Melbourne :)

Was so freaking cold, but it was nice.. We ended the day by visiting Yarra Bend park and saw the city skyline as the lights turned on. It was really great view. I wish they could have some seats where I can just sit and enjoy the world.. ermm.. Melbourne turn to dark.

シドニー

Just back from a 2 nights trip to Sydney. I was looking for inspirations and reflections over my relationship. To be honest, it wasn't really useful. I ended up feeling more confused than I'm supposed to be. I know ending the relationship is probably the best thing that I should do, but I felt really scared of being alone again.

When I was there, I was down with flu and was very very sick. On my first night I had high fever and terrible neck pain. It was really hard to change clothes and I had a hot bath to relieve some of the pain. I couldn't even sleep properly. Luckily though, I managed to get well the next day. I guess the old Chinese beliefs that sleeping and sweating when you have fever helps a lot. I did missed being looked after by someone, probably that's why I felt very confused and scared.

I stayed with Sir I in Hilton on the second night and if my fever didn't get better I probably would avoid him and continue on my hotel stay in Intercontinental. Anyway, Intercontinental Sydney been really good this time. I was upgraded to Harbor View Room and I got an ambassador gifts. The staff were also much more friendly and the breakfast was very good for Australian standard. Thanks to Josh who managed to accompany me on the first night... I appreciate your company and looking forward to meet you again soon.

サタデーナイトスペシャル

Yes, it's a special Saturday night! Because for a long time, we managed to be out and about in the city and enjoying each other company. I was with my best friend as usual, and his close friends. We had dinner in Grill'd and then off for a dessert in Monroe's St Kilda. Their sticky date pudding is so divine. It's warm, moist, sticky, and most importantly super yummy. Rest assured we had a fun night gossiping and piling up some fat.. LOL

The offending sticky date

グラフィティー @ Hosier Lane

I went out with my best friend to visit Hosier Lane last night for my psychology assessment. This assignment required me to produce an artistic product as a way to express ourself. I, appropriately, chose to take some photos in Hosier Lane's graffiti. For me, I think it symbolizes freedom and liberations. The graffiti was really fantastic, takes a lot of effort to paint and created those. It was so freaking cold and wet, but it was such a fun night with my best friend.




I love this image! Feels a like a dark creepy alley.. :)

東京 remanence : variance

remanence : variance from Samuel Cockedey on Vimeo.

Love Tokyo! Ja Panda!

スパイシーな夜

Love spicy food? Try dainty in Melbourne's Chinatown. I just discovered this place not long ago and oh boy.. it's so freaking spicy. Last night, I took YK to have dinner here. You could see him sweating like a pig.. (Well.. he is one already, so that sentence has a literal meaning). We ordered 3 dishes and I think, I was gulping more water than the food. The food is delicious though and the wait is pretty long... Let the pics speak for themselves...





I'm feeling hot looking at those pics.. The spicyness seems to be coming back to me now...